i don't wanna come out.. =/

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mz3n	i don't wanna come out.. =/		Lead	[-]
Posts: 2 03/16/05 08:59:11	Tags : None first off im a bisexual male but im 10%(?) more attracted to guys, :P so, i'm mixed but my parents divorced so i've been raised exactly like an asian (not to be racist or anything but you probably know that being homosexual/bisexual in asia is still considered weird...) but i know some people that hide it, marry, have kids, and die if i come out now and start having sex with men, im afraid my past is gonna come back and stab me in the back, cuz i want a wife and children (in the future) and sometimes im more attracted to men then women... and other times im attracted more to women then men... lol, funny? =P and i also wanna find a nice girl/guy to experience being it.. (cuz i've never had sex before, suprise suprise.. i guess i'm too cautious.. cuz sometimes i think "what if i cant get a hard on when im having sex with a girl/guy") so i want your advice =D (and im terribly sorry if i offended you in any way) i wanna know if im just being paranoid or if im just confused, i dunno cuz im still young, if i should come out or not =/ SO CONFUSED!! thanx for reading my junk =P p.s. i recall someone saying that only teens are bisexual becuz their confused and stuff.. and when they become adults they either become fully gay or fully straight? i dunno and a special thanx for those who reply $:\$
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yoru kanashimi	Re: i don't wanna come out.. =/	#1	[url]	[-]
Posts: 36 03/16/05 15:06:56 Power User	Hey ^^. lol. Teens aren't the only bisexuals, and no one is either purely straight or homosexual. So don't worry about having to choose sides. Really, I think you should go with what makes you happy or with what you may feel comfortable with. The parent-thing, they'll always think it's weird. I'm hispanic, and after a year of knowing I'm gay, my mom still asks me "aww don't you think that girl's pretty enough to be a wife?" They're just parents. People either get over us, or we'll get over them, right?
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mz3n	Re: i don't wanna come out.. =/	#2	[url]	[-]
Posts: 2 03/17/05 01:31:08	well, you see.. that's the problem... if i come out now and go out with guys and in the future when i marry and have children, im afraid that it might've been a mistake (to have come out) and if i DONT come out know... i might become depressed (which is also a problem) so either way.. im not comfortable.. so im asking for your guy's opinions which is the better option
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yoru kanashimi	Re: i don't wanna come out.. =/	#3	[url]	[-]
Posts: 36 03/17/05 14:44:27 Power User	Personally, I felt greatly relieved to have come out. If you come out as bi, I don't think you'd have to worry about the "mistake" thing, 'cause you're not limiting yourself to guys, you could still do the marriage thing when you want, and you won't be depressed. It bugs me how, unfortunately, there are lots of people that are like "oh, yeah i'm bi" but they don't know what it's like to go through this stuff, y'know? shrug side-note I guess. lol hm...either way, just do what makes you feel better. plus, the person you marry would love you regardless, so she'd accept you however you are. ^^
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Saabaj	Re: i don't wanna come out.. =/	#4	[url]	[-]
Posts: 334 03/28/05 06:40:03 Ancient One	That last thing Yoru said is probably the most important. Whoever you marry is going to have to be cool with who you are no matter what. If you are out and free with yourself you have nothing to look back on and regret and you have no reason to be depressed. Be yourself man, and don't worry so much. And who knows, you may have a few great relationships with men on the way there.
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mnguy40	Re: i don't wanna come out.. =/	#5	[url]	[-]
Posts: 2 09/08/06 14:10:05	Hey buddy ... Just want to let u know I went the other way and I will never say that I regret it but it was very hard. I do have 3 great kids but missed out on what I really wanted was a life with a nice guy. Now, still not out and STILL cant find a guy. So, you should honetly do what makes u feel happy cause u dont get another shot at life. You can always have kids .. ur own or adopt ... Kids r great but u have to make u happy cause if u dont ur kids nor that wife will be!
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eediedel		#6	[url]	[-]
Posts: 10 09/12/07 18:53:36	There are just two points I wanna make. Coming out is a personal choice, not a requirement. Come out when u want to, and on your terms. not anybody else's. Don't let a sociatal belief push u to do something that you may or may not be ready for. Point number two. Coming out is one of the most freeing, feelings you can have. After you come out, the entire world looks different. It is brighter, bigger, and happier. U feel like u can do anything, after coming out. But on the flip side of that, u learn activism. You start to see the animosity and hatred in people. U see people with their own personal sexuality issues. just like the bully who picks on you in school. he/she has so many emotional issues it's not even funny. Same thing with str8 people. they make fun because thay are insecure. Don't let insecurity run your life. Make your own choices and decissions. And know that what ever you choose, there are people in your life will stand by your side no matter what happens.
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gayboy66		#7	[url]	[-]
Posts: 5 10/11/07 10:22:05	Hey buddy! I'm the same and i already have kids and work in vvery conservative job. I'm finding myself only attrated to men now but i keep it secret just for my job. it's very hard to do i know but stay with it. i never actually did it untill i came to thailand.
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alangabris		#8	[url]	[-]
Posts: 3 12/10/07 09:26:54	Unfortunately we have to make choices and mine was not to come out. I have a family and love them dearly but I do miss the relationship that only another guy can give me. I married because I was afraid to come out, but I did have a relationship with three guys before marriage and I miss them and what they were able to give me. I wish you luck.
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Gorgeous Studmuffin		#9	[url]	[-]
Posts: 23 08/05/08 15:05:08	It seems like most of those who got married feel like they missed out on life by not spending it with the guy of their dreams. I am kind of caught in the middle now and don't know what to do! I have an amazingly sweet girlfriend, and when I am with her I am so happy, but anytime I'm not right there with her, I want nothing more than to find that guy and spend the rest of my life with him by my side. I am afraid of what the future holds because I am from a hyperconservative family, I go to Christian college, and everyone respects me as "one of the most conservative, strong Christians they know." BUT deep down inside, I know I am gay...no matter how hard I try to fight it. What to do?!
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